I'm a lake.

A meeting with that long lost friend of mine put a lot of things into perspective.

After 2 years of not seeing each other, we went to catch a movie together, and to catch up with all that has been happening around us.

Miami Vice. Hardly the girl get together movie, but even with all the sex, ALL THE SEX, and violence and Colin Farrell's permanently arched eyebrows, it still made for a good evening out with Fanny Lim.















Colin Farrell and Gong Li. IF they were to get together, they''ll be Farrali (a knock off of Ferrari). Hey, at least its better than TomKat, Bragelina, and Benifer.

At least it sounds like it MEANS something.
















Yes, in the movie, when the two are onscreen, they get it on.

One time, there was a scene where Jamie Foxx was bathing with girlfriend. Then, after that, there was another scene where Colin Farrell was bathing with Gong Li.

Now I know that policemen are very hygenic creatures.

Anyway, yes. It was a hearty conversation over Long John Silvers and Coffeebean coffee over the past, the present and much more.

Oh to go back to when I was young again! Where my hair was nothing but a fully grown mushroom.

The fainting episode still cracks me up.

And with Fanny, you don't laugh. You giggle.

Heeheeheeeheehee...........

Of birthdays and school breaks.

This month is such a hot month for birthdays. There are 3 people who are close to me whose birthdays fall on days in September.

Wah, doesn't that means that January is a very hot month to have....

A significant amount of money was spent on presents for 2 of these lovely people, but the look of their faces as they claim the presents made my money well spent.
Right, Ho Shi Qi who has recently upgraded from being Fei Yu Qing's wife to Zhang Fei's mistress?
Right, Leanne? Hur hur.

The last person is my big sister, whose birthday is today. Last night at 12midnight, she panicked because no one wished her happy birthday. After 14 mins passed, she decided that she's insignificant in this world because not one person sent any greeting.

(I don't know why she doesn't view me as a person)

But that thought should have subsided because someone sent her flowers today. Nice lovely flowers that will, in a few weeks time could become potpurri. (Woohoo?)

Anyway, enough with the celebrations of birth. Let's talk about death, which brings me to my school break.

Funny how I link things eh?

I call it death because out of the 5 days of no-school, only 1 day is used for non-academic activities. 1. And I repeat. 1.

I'll die of brain exhaustion.

But then I'm quite lucky my project mates for every project are responsible and motivated.

Still, save me leh.

what are the chances?

I always loved bumping into people I know. After not seeing her for few years, I finally saw her in a crowded MRT train, when I was nearing my stop.

Fanny Lim Kwan Rou. The person that I always hope to bump into but never did. (Yes SQ, I finally saw her cos she totally looked the same)

I found it amazing, considering that she was in the same cabin in the train, and also near me, and that I managed to even spot her at all.

Only a few words were exchanged, sadly, because I only had 10 seconds in between the time I realised it was her and the train stopped at my stop.

As if it's twice lucky, I saw Pamela at Junction 8, and promptly flashed her the long lost $2 sign after she, as usual said whatever she said.

Not bad man. Should pray that I will see a certain person from the opposite species huh?

i didn't say anything i shouldn't say.
i just said something at the wrong time, and maybe it wasn't appropriate then.

i didn't think much of it at first,
now i think about it and i think it's gonna be beautiful.
its something that i'm hoping to find someday too.

go on, and enjoy
i'll be right here, supporting whatever you want to do.
I mean it.

Goodness! I need a shopping trip!

Why?

The fact that my friend pointed out to me that I have a clothing schedule.

Last tuesday, she exclaimed, "oh my, you always wear this on tuesdays!" I looked down, and true enough, my brown polo tee has been my fashion staple for tuesdays unknowingly. Maybe it's the intensity of the colour, maybe it's the cute factor that I feel when I put it on, maybe it has this hypnotic effect that says "Please Choo-choo choose me" on my tuesday mornings.

And then it was another tee, this time a "bullseye-esque" shirt- AND another friend to put things into perspective. Yesterday, as she saw me, she said "Hey! You wore this last monday too!"

Okaay.

I really do need more clothes uh. Where art thou, my creamy chocolate-ty Serangoon JC uniform which has stood by me, rain or shine, bad hair days, days where I knew I needed to exercise more just by having to breathe in when zipping up my skirt?

I guess it's the revenge of my skirt. I used to curse and sworn that it ws making me look like a super-toot toot. As if it wasn't enough to be just a toot. It was down to my knees, and my mum said "NO" when I wanted to alter it.

Come to think of it, my mum always says NO. (And yes, in capital letters too)

In school, I was used to having friends or aquaintances asking me why I wore it so long. I would walk past them, say a "Hi!" but they never did say hi back. They always go "Wah, why your skirt so long? Sweeop floor ah?"

Okay, the second part may be just for comic relief. But it really did happen to me.In the end, I was so glad to be out of my A -cut skirt. But now, who's having the last laugh?

Can you hear that?

From the deep, untrodden end of my wardrobe, a chocolaty, KMnO4 stained skirt is quietly giggling.....

The Correct Motivation

It's a weird thing, the motivation to study. These few weeks, I've been leaving everything to last minute work, and in university, last minute work is A LOT of work, even as a prospective carrot that says "4.5 GPA" dangles in front of me.

I was with Charlene in her hostel room when she was working on her next week's tutorials. She shared with me how she always do her tutorials ahead of time. Which made me realise something.

(Yea yea, I'm always "realising" stuff. I need a thesaurus.)

In JC, she's the one who keep pushing herself to do. On seeing that kind of determination, and being the kiasu one, I'm always trying to catch up. She's the hare.

And if it wasn't for her, I don't think I'll be able to get the grades i did during my A's.

Now, on seeing her still so hardworking, even with so much activities going on, I really do feel guilty that I've been doing last minute work.

I'll step up. I'm the tortise.

haiyoh. This week's ball session was cancelled.

I thought every thursday it's ball session day.

And turned down refereeing jobs when it fall on thursday nights.

And even though everyone else has another agenda, you two know it's ball session day.

Haiyoh.

What can I do but to lament? It's not anyone's fault anyway. That's why I'm only can sigh and say "haiyoh".

A better ball session next week, I hope.

Hand cramps.

Shivers. Shakes. At first a little, then violently. And then it writhes into a wrinkled, deformed shape. It whimpers a little then explodes into thin air, into nothingness. And all I see is a stump. A blood fountain gushes out of the stump. My eyes turn white, I gasp in horror. And then I see no more.

That's how I think I'm gonna die.

Yesterday, I attended this lecture on Communication, of which the lecturer says she's from Vienna, Austria. The land where Mozart and all the other bloody musical geniuses hail from.

She looked nice, she seemd nice, but boy, could her powerpoint slides kill!

Her slides were choke full of words (whoever said a powerpoint slide should contain less than 20words should have a loooong chat with this woman). And poor me had to copy the entire thing, along with the rest of the students. To make things worse, she went on and on like a bullet train, her explanations barely reaching our ears.

Jingting offered this comment "Whoever said Singapore was a fast paced city should go to Austria!"

And then it dawned on me.

No wonder Mozart could play the piano at 4 years old la!

It's so good to be happy.

I didn't like school.
Because my friends are staying in halls and I'm not and I'm jealous and envious.
Because I'm afraid they have new friends and just leave me, just don't care about me and leave me alone to fend for myself.
Because I'm just too scared.

I like school now.
I've found my footing, my rock, my place and my secret corner.
I've found people of the same wavelength, and yet, my friends are still there.
I'm still scared, but I'll survive.

It's so good, so good to laugh.
It's so good to be happy.

less words, more work.

And so it's come to this.

Love Hate
Of all things short and sweet and small
you are the best, the best one of them all
you are the light among the dark blue sky
you are the thorn that sticks out and you hurt
my eye.

Because the love-hate line has blurred
You seem to be a dream, a slur
A conniving man, a desperate measure
But yet, a perfectly flawed sculpture

I hate you
I hate your guts and your lies and your face
I hate the way I think you'll say you'll die without your coffee in the morn
I hate you, you weakling

I love you
I love your guts and your lies and oh, your face
I love the way I think you'll take me in your arms and say you'll never let me go
I love you.

I hate the fact you make me wait
And you haven't appeared at all.

the number of failures is akin to the satisfaction level when you finally suceed.

This week, I tried my hands on using HTML.

I had agreed to a request by a friend(HTML-idiot) to put up a new blogskin from a blogskin website for her. I had thought that it was a matter of cut-and-paste and it was done. I thought, what a sucker.

First, she instructed me on where to get the skin. Easy.
Then, she told me to move all her headings and tagbox and links over to the new one. Easy too.
Done.

Or so I thought.
What I didn't count on was the quest for perfection. "Can I have this all to the right, can I have this as well, can I change that to this?" The questions started pouring. No, I meant, coming.

But of course, all of that was done in a polite manner, with loads of pleases and thank yous and "Oh you're the smartest girl in the world, Deanna!".

Okay, so I made up the last one.

You see, I wasn't really good with HTML at that point. In fact, if you were to rate my skills on that, I'd probably be standing next to the complete idiot(*coughs* whom you should know who).

To save a lil face, (you know us Chinese), I decided to "wing" it. Okay, I said, I'll try to do it. I'll ask around and stuff, but I'll try to do it.

I played around, tried to tweak it to the nearest optimal settings that she wanted, but I kept getting stuck. I even went to read a basic tutorial on the internet about HTML just so that I could do it.

It was no longer about saving face, it was more about facing the challenge. What do you do if you get stuck? How many methods will you try? How many trials and errors have you done?

APLENTY!

Now who's the real sucker?

Not me though, because finally, after hours of trying, I finally got the method of how to adjust this to be like that. With a little help from a friend who taught me a shortcut, of course. And seeing the blogskin as it's supposed to be, I can't help but pump up my fist and say a good old fashioned "OH YES!I've suceeded!"

Deanna has been HTML-ed.



And here's another computer idiot playing (for the first time I think) on a gameboy. Check out the smile. Computer games make you happy.

And crappy days MacDonalds breakfast with a friend is a good break from the crappy day jinx.




You can't see, but she's playing POKEMON. And she's just 21 this year.

Gwen has battled a Slowpoke in the game, so she'll know a slowpoke is... a pokemon.

Computers. Learn life lessons without 'em. Learn things with 'em.