ME and Yenling!  

My Year End Report- Part 2

2. We should NOT jump into a relationship just like that and end it after 3days
- I do not wish to elaborate.. haha

3. Fun in the outdoors
- This year, all the camps are coming into me! And to think, for the past 16years of my life, I've never been to any camp at all

4. Friends
I've made great friends, and I'm still in contact with my best friends :D.

5. Hmm.... I've grown up....

A Banana Poem( By Shaz and Deanna)


I knew this person, her name was Girl
When I first met her, I was in a whirl
She had the cash, she had the curl
And she’s probably the greatest girl in the world

I knew this boy, who lived quite near
He thought I had the cash, the curl
But then I didn’t have anything, except I’m blur
And I’m probably the worst girl in the world

I’m an outsider, waiting at corner
Wondering why these two souls will never meet
Little did they know they were meant for each otherAll they had to do was just greet
I’m an outsider, looking in
They fit together- their two hands and feet
But one is tired, and one is beat
Their fate was shaky, as I’ve just seen

How many outsiders does it take to tell one story?
All I know is that their fate was strong, it still is
Their will to love was the only thing shaky
And still, none was daring enough to bear that risk

I’m the boy who’s in this mess
Who doesn’t have the guts to get
The girl I want, she’s too perfect
I can’t give her anything back

I’m the girl who’s in this mess
Always trying to see, trying to test
Whether his feelings for me is real
So I can show him how I really feel

I’m the cleaner, I clean messes
A classic example of a mess, this is
I clear the mess, I tame the restless
So that these two lovers can finally get together, please.

Boy:
I gave her a rose that Friday
What she said shocked me
I never thought I could have been
The one she was, all along, waiting

Girl:
He gave me a rose that Friday
I was so happy, so I say
Hello, thank you and how are you
I’ve been noticing you, and you are cute

Cleaner:
I opened my locker that Friday
I found a bow and some arrows, it seemed stupid
However, I changed out of my uniform that day
I saw wings on my back, I realized I was cupid

Honestly, I don't like beign put down. If you tell me a simple statement "I'm pissed with you", without any reason, I will worry whether I did something to piss you off. If I didn't, then I'll get angry.

What the hell?! Don't say stuff you don't mean. Don't say "Deanna Sux" just because you feel like it. Don't say "You're stupid" just because of one mistake. Don't put me down.

I can't take being put down.

And don't look at me as a friend of hers. Look at me as Deanna.

Shahirah, Shaz, Ruey Jen, Celine, Char, ME and Karthik... notice i bent down... 

My End-Of-Year Report = 5 things that I have aquired this YEAR

1. To let go
After my first 3 months, I've got myself a new class. But then I really wanted to go 1S21 because Yan Sze, Liling and Ki Hui was there. Hence, I began to hang out with S21 more, and I would run off to find the comfort in these 3 people, and the class that is them- 1S21. In class, my lame nature could never come out, for there is a barrier within myself. It was painful, and it felt like depression. I would find someone to sit beside, and just hope that the person and me will become like, good friends in the next 60minutes we get. However, the more i hoped, the more i felt that I was miserable in class. It was also the time I really wanted to shout "SRJC SUX." Those days, a clique was formed in the class, but i wasn't in it. Heck, I was nowhere near it. Thus I tried to "infiltrate" the clique, and I felt I failed miserably. Ever felt depression? It's like you wake up one morning and feels that there's no one there for you AT ALL. If you had the courage to die, you really feel like dying. Hence, I gave up. I created for myself my statement for the year. "THE BEST THINGS HAPPEN WHEN YOU LEAST EXPECT IT." I let go of any hope of gaining acceptance in the clique. That was when I found them. Aishah, Shahirah, XueYun and Charlene. Am I glad or am i glad.

No. 2,3,4,5 coming up............. SOON----------

and I wish on a star, that somewhere you are, thinking of me too...
- Selena's Dreaming of you

Today's Frequently Said Phrase: Excuse me Miss/Ma'am/Sir, would you like to donate?
Today's Activity : Surely you can guess?

Today's Morning Activity: Went to PHS's open house. And I saw Mr Wong, my ex-coach. Haha, and played basketball with Winnie and Jewell. Felt great playing with them. It's like the past flying back to me. And with Gek Eng, Andrea and SQ and Qun BAo too. Qun Bao like never change at all, his eyebrows still the same. Haha.... Had a fun time with all of them like always.

Today's Afternoon Activity: CIP

today's going home activity: Went to Orchard to find Stephanie, Seet Ee and Vanassa to go home with. The 3 of them was actually always together with Gek Eng and Andrea, and there was me and SQ and Xiao Wei. Now, I dunno why they split into 2 groups. I haven't seen Steph and company for quite long, and wondered what become of them. Well, now i know... and erm, i guess i can't really get their erm, wavelength.

--------------------------~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

my past, and my present 

Guess who? ( to *ahem* dun kill me :D) 

I guess that one part of me is almost dying, as i fear that i will nOt be....

I had my Oral PResentation Rehearsal a few days back, and I tried differentiating my pitches, meaning no more monotanous speech. The comments weren't too bad, and I think the few weaknesses I had was that I tend to look at my cuecard for too long, and not looking at the audience. However, I had the confidence. Hopefully my group will do well and we will get good grades. At least we are more prepared, that's a plus point. I guess that, in some ways, I am lucky that my group is productive so... yup... plus point.

how come at first you feel that life will bring you down, but you're just walking on and on and on around- Deanna's quote

The past few days I had all sorts of emotions within myself. I was sleepless yesterday night because today was the checking of examination scripts. The day before, Mr Tan had told us the highest for Econs essay was 46/75, and that person was a girl. And I really really really hoped it was me. Well, I wasn't, but i was one of the 4 people who passed essay, so I should count myself lucky. My proudest moment was getting 16.5/20 for Data Response, 0.5 marks off the highest in class. Here's my results:
GP: PASSED!!! HEehee
Econs: B
Maths: 56/100 ( surprise surprise, i passed)
Chinese: B ( It's a wonder)
Chemistry : FAIL... all get AO.. expected lah

Good news is i think yup, not bad.

Anyway, I'd never thought I'll be more busy now. Everything is like rushing in. Can't really breathe....

yet everybody just feels like they can relate, I guess words are a mutha****er they can be great, or even worse they can teach hate, it's like kids hang on to every statement we make
- Eminem's Sing For the Moment

I've just witness a case of family violence. Sadly, my family, however perfect it looks, is still vunerable to inner attacks, or fits once in a while. At least it hasn't been that frequent. I had stopped, just in time, my mother from hitting my smaller sister with a bottle. And it was a very small matter that triggered this tragic event. My very own mother. It brings me heartache. I thought she had outgrown this, or that my sister and brother had outgrown their childishness. Maybe I was the childish one, who thought all these had ended. On hindsight, it was on a rather silly (might as well say stupid) note that this happened. Reminded me of the days in the past where she'll scream non stop everyday. Those days, I had dreams of moving out the moment I could spread my wings. Highly ambitious dreams they were, for I was not bold as I thought I would be. But today, today I chided her. I told her I was dishearted to see such things in the family. I said my piece. And I just pray, to the one I know I believe in, that things will turn out good.

In case I forget....

HEY~~~ Ho Shi Qi, Tan Gek Eng, Andrea Zhang!!! The 3 of you better jia you for your exams hor!!! 18th October coming in like, 3 days time. JIA YOU!!! YOu all must get promoted so that we can go university together!!!

my eyes filled up with laughter
my tongue in tears
screwed senses

lost by the way of the scholars
brain intact, in sane and insane
whatever i say

concentrate, burst out laughing
instead
look into my eyes
how do i articulate

flower bees english school
only want to say
i really like you

and when the stars fall i will lie awake... you're my shooting star
-Michelle Branch's Goodbye to You

There has come to my attention
that the rules of the game has changed
like a string of a sentance, the minds and a ransom
all changed within a range
so here i go now appealing to you
like what the hell now, what'cha tryin' to do
cos i can't really tell, oh please you're the big ass
big boobs bitch
i felt like in the darkness someone turn on the switch
light's on you now, headlights on you now
you can't run cos you fell into the hole now
and time will prove its worth
if HUMILITY don't
cos you will suffer, you and you alone
i'm cruel yes i know
but this metermorphosis is here and not to go
like a sinner's mind washed with filth
vile and rude, never knowing where's your soap
i'm gonna wash your mouth with it just watch it out
And your ego, that's a terrible tool
you really think the rugby, or anyone else likes you?
Come on what's up with that attitude
change yourself, or your game will be over too soon

sadness is beautiful, loneliness is tragical
- shape of my heart by Backstreet Boys

Today, I got a taste of Charlene Su's driving. A bit scary, because the only person I'm not scared of being a passenger is my Papa. At first, me, Gwen, Yuen, Grace and Jas were going to Orchard the "student" way- by MRT. THen Gwen told me to jio Charlene there, and suddenly Charlene say, "Dun go... I fetch you all there!" Wow, those were magical words. All of us, who were at the escalator going down to the MRT station, quickly went up. Haha... when we finally FINALLY reached her house, I was quite surprised to see that she was gonna drive the VOLKSWAGON BEETLE!!! So cool, in lime green somemore. Haha, but not hers.

Yar, along the way, I didn't really dare to talk too much, I scared she get distracted and laugh too much. Yar, we all know how she laugh right? Uncontrollably. So it will be quite dangerous. But then we reached Orchard safe and sound, and she handled the road really well. It was when she tried to drive into Cineleisure Carpark that was funny. She almost drove into the wrong lane, and me and Jasmine hurriedly ducked down. In Orchard a lot of people wad, later they look in see us damn malu... haha. The parking of the car was quite hilarious. Cos we were all just staying silent and Yuen even turned off the music! Yup, just like what Gwen said, Charlene's reaction was quite shocking. Haha, while turning the steering wheel here and there, she turned and exclaimed "Why you turn off my music?" HAhahaha......
Never ever will forget that... And Grace got beaten by Charlene Su oso... so scary..hahaha!!!!

-----------------------------------------
And today, I heard something that I was bothered by. Some people have the audacity to claim that they are the ones who propelled a certain team to a certain status. I say RUBBISH. Total Rubbish!!!! Too proud, and blind to see that they are actually the ones that HINDER growth. Mark my words, HUMILITY is the one that keeps us down to earth. Pride will be the stumbling obstacle that blocks one's quest for success, for fame. I slog my guts out, and someone claims credit. My seniors SLOG THEIR GUTS OUT, and SHE CLAIMS THE BLOODY CREDIT.

Pure rubbish. Nothing but a thorn in the eye. Fool.

hey hey! Nice skin right? I think now that my promos are over, I'm more relaxed now. That's why. My blogskins are my mood gauger.

Yup, speaking of post promotional activities, I was the facilitator of basketball girls. Yup, I'm very lucky. When the first game "Amazing Race" started, they were the ones running all over and looking for the clues. I was really happy with their enthusiasic levels. REAlly, they so badly wanted to WIN and I can really see the competitive streak they have. Sadly, due to the incredibly idiotic point system, the heavyweight CCAs- Soccer and Rugby got tops while Volleyball got third. AND they were all from Group A. Basketball girls were from group B and really, some parts of the games were SUPER UNFAIR. If there were winners from Group A and Group B by themselves, I swear they'll get the top three. They WON the Amazing Race. And they faired quite well in other games. WE SO DESERVE THE TOP 3

MAJOR ACCOMPLISHMENT: Taught them the basketball lines, which they affectionally calls our "PLEDGE"
----Winning isn't everything, but the effort to win is-------
----------Believe, going into any competition, always believe you can go all the way-----

MAJOR ****-ed Up PErson: Idiotic referee for "Attack of the Cones". Who else but Bianca can do such a ****-ed up job. I was shouting "Referee Sux" and throwing my shoe, and hey, next to her, Nelson Tan looks tame. Serious, and he talked to me. And his conversation with me was way better than with Bianca, which yes, means that Bianca really sucks. He was sitting right beside me as we walked them played. And to think I thought he was the worst. Nope, she deserve to win him. EVEn though i still don't like him....

ANOTHER MAJOR ACCOMPLISHMENT: Sadly, no, it's not getting "ahem ahem's " handphone number. (And there's only ONE DAY! yikes!I'm screwed) I learnt belaying, Mr Teng and Mr Tan was the teachers. For a girl who has gone dormant on the outdoors since I was born, this has been enriching!

----------------------------------------------->>>>>>> another day has gone.
------>>>>> if it was just another day
--------------------------->>>> I won't care, because there will be a tomorrow
---->>>And I'll still see you
-----------------------------------> But, there's only ONE tomorrow now
------>>>> I'm so scared
-------------------------------->>>>> I may not see you EVER
---->>> And I don't want that

living in the shadows, of someone else's dreams, trying to find a hand to hold but every touch felt cold to me
- Ashlee Simpson's In the Shadows

Subjects that are doomed
-Maths and GP
Sbjects that i think i could manage a pass
-Econs
Subject that I wanna pass
-Chemistry

----------------------------------------------------- Just shake me and tell me i'm dead--------

And i'm having a bad sorethroat and feeling weak. The worst days....

I've got a crush on you, I hope you feel the way that I do
- Mandy Moore's Crush

Do I have the power of expression? No.
Am I able to put what I want to say into words? No.
Do I even know what I'm writing about? No.
Judging from these, I'd say I will be flunking my GP Essay.

But wait! There's still hope!
I think I might be able to do well for my GP comprehansion. Crossing my fingers, there is hope for me yet.

And so....
I'm going to study. I'm going to make sure I score very high for Economics. Because that is the only subject I enjoy and the only subject I know I can ace. And I will pass my Maths. The only thing left is Chemistry, which I hope I can pass.

Hence...
I'm going to show the world I ain't that stupid after all.