tell me my true love is here, that's all I want, just for me, underneath my christmas tree, I'll be waiting here, Santa that's my OnlY wiSh this yeAr.
- My Only Wish by Britney Spears"

"I have no life" is a politically incorrect sentance.

For me, that is. I found out I have one, contrary to what I thought, that it doesn't exist and that, well, basically my life is spent stoning. I've realised I've been going out, having camps and now, reading books. I'm practically living my life.

I have a camp tomorrow, yes, till the 3rd of December, which means that I'll be sleeping on the day I look forward to from the begining of the year. Sleeping! Goodness me! On that day? NO.

And I'll miss Singapore Idol- The FINAL SHOWDOWN. Aw damn, why can't I be part of the shrieking teenagers who will be screaming for Taufik, just because they are apt at that( and maybe, just maybe, that's the only thing they blardy know).

But on a lighter note, I'm having fun. How come no one told me shopping could be fun? Yes, it IS fun. Although, a book can be thrilling, heartpounding, exciting and fun too. Which brings me to THE DA VINCI CODE ( insert sound effects here, preferbly thrilling, loud classical music). I have finally sunk into the book. The BOOK of the CENTUARY!!! ( you may insert some sound effects here too... peals of thunder are welcomed).

Ahh, and swimming. Who could forget the graceful body cutting through the water. That is, until me and Yuen attempted to jump into the water. We didn't cut through the water, we plummeted on the water. It was a painful memory, that part. But fun it was. Gwen, Yuen and me, OH! What fun we had.

Oh what fun it is to live my life every single day, hey!
( sing to the tune of oh what fun it is to ride in a one horse open sleigh)

Can't blame me, it's nearly Christmas.

it's been a loooong time since I wrote poems on a whim, so here goes...

so there he is, sitting in a corner
back bent lean forward head down
being that loner
and all that time he's taking in
what he has just done, the people he's hurting
they say he's the fighter he fights for his life
but he himself sees he's just running and stalling time
and there it is, there his opponent lie
all wounded, hurt broken bones, gonna die
he breathes in deep with every breath
and with every breath, he breathes in blood
the opponent's blood- he knows he's in deep shit
this time's the trouble's big
and his friends ain't there, they've just ran away
even though he shouted, he wanted them to stay
saying anything it's no use now
looking at the dead body
he's dead meat now

There she goes, there she goes again, racing through my brain
- Sixpence non the Richer's There she goes

Woah. What a day today. I had so much fun. I have to slowly describe this day. First, me, Gwen and Yuen decided to go to town to buy and look for prom stuff. We went to eat first, and on the way, we saw HuiLi, RuiYi and Poh Shan. I only recognised Poh Shan at first. Haha, I wonder why. And I realised I was so dark, darker than any other one of them. Really, make me stand in between say, Huili and Ruiyi, the difference is so obvious. Must go buy Oil of Olay ( or something like that) the whitening powder already. Haha.... after eating, YanHui came ( looking like a plumber with the huge pockets in front, hehe... ) and we went to check out Nike 5on5 at Ngee Ann City. The Chong Ghee team was superb, I mean, it's the first time i saw girls alley-oop. It's a treat for the eyes. We ended up sitting there for a few hours just watching and Grace joined us. Me and Yuen Xin went into taka for toilet, and we also went to find Wan Xin. In the end, we couldn't find her, but she could, and promptly pounced on me. HAha... after that, she came with us to watch for a while before heading back for her job. And there were so many malu-ated scenes, Yuen's little basketball kept rolling out, and poor Grace have to go pick it up everytime. Other ppl playing with normal big basketball, but we playing with little basketball.. haha...

After that we went to Heeren, and found out that Char Su is also in town. We saw her in Heeren, but she was still with her friends then. Soon, we went to Cineleisure because Gwen, Grace and Yuen wanted to apply for job at TCC - The coffee con-sumthing... Very interesting... next year at that time, I guess I'll be doing the same thing, filling in employment forms. After that we walked to Centrepoint, where at that point my mind was flustered. Don't ask why, only Gwen they all will know. Char came to Centrepoint too, and we were shopping and shopping. Yuen also tried on a dark red dress.. mmm, nice...

Yuen then had to go meet her parents at PS, then me, Char and Gwen and Grace walked to Zara. On the way, something happened. WE went to the motorola tent, and Char got selected to play the "SMS shootout"... she typed so sloooooow lor.. the guy beat her, but heng the guy typed the wrong thing, so she won! When she won, she screamed and jumped. Me, Gwen and Grace faster ran out... haha... malu sia... but she won something nice... oh yar! Char and Grace walked very fast, so me and Gwen went to hide behind a tree... haha... so funny, we were laughing behind the tree.

When we reach Zara, I tried on two dresses. When I tried the first one, I couldn't find any zip. I never wore dresses before, so I had no idea how to wear it. In the end, I just put my hands through and squeezed through it. They said it was nice :D.... Then while trying to remove the dress, I realised there was a zip at the side. Diao~ I was so scared I would ruin the dress lor... The 2nd dress had no zips... I made sure I checked everywhere, and they said the 2nd one was nicer... after that was dinner at far east where I was talking and talking and talking like dunno what. Maybe it was cos Yan Sze told me someone is "crazy de" I don't know what I was thinking, i was just thinking gibberish, either that or I was restricting myself from thinking too much. Sigh... but dinner was nice, though service there was questionable.

Yup, that's my day!

the rain didn't stop, but when I saw them walking towards the basketball court, my heart smiled.

So... CONGRATS J2S!!! A level's are oVER!!! :D
Go wild.

Haha.... you guys are the noisest, the loudest.. and I love you guys so much!!!!!

And of course... my team too.. though quieter, they are the people who fight.

SRJC basketball girls, my team.

It was sad when the big ship went down
- LTC's Titanic Song

So, I've done complaining about the camp, now let me talk about the good part.

I think during the camp, I got closer to the LTC members. Me, Shaz, Xanthia and Char was like talking about the days in the LTC camp. So funny!!! We talked about the moldy spongecake.. .Shaz actually ate the whole thing! Haha... can you imagine? The toilets in this camp is WAYYYY better than the ones in Kota Tingi. Still remember that one of the toilet cubicle in Kota got frog. ewww... but this one, wow, it's heaven. The tables also, no dead flying ants nothing.... haha, but thinking back, it's sooooo funny.... I laughed and laughed....i remember that once we ate something in LTC camp that tasted like bitter gourd and it turned out to be cucumber. Hahahha!!! It's so absurd lah.... but the toilet in the MOE camp got strong urea smell... haha... I belayed until wanna die.... actually is not really abrasion, is that nite dunno what i go and do, morning wake up my *ahem* damn pain... then i was walking around like a crazy person, cos pain mah, i think my harness too tight already.. walking, sitting oso a bit pain... but the only painful experience was cos an idiot wanted to jump down from that obstacle. I swear, i almost flew up the sky. It was like a huge jerk, but I think marteen's station worse, haha.. they had to shout instructions up the obstacle and had to hold there for dunno how long.... at night i was so tired, i slept very early, but they tot i sleptwalk and talk, haha, actually i wake half awake, i saw celestine can open the window so i went to open the windows, but they make the action of me sleeping like so funny and malu.... jieying and simon keep doing the action... haha... speaking of jieying, she and me got 2things in comman, a common hatred for *ahem* and a common like, but on different people. She so funny lor, we went to "look at cars and look at hair" just to avoid some people... haha!!! I would go find her gossip... cos Char and Shahirah and Shaz look so busy doing their stuff.. then i would just find anyone near me to gossip about *ahem*, just sit and complain, I think I complained to almost everyone already... haha... got people listen, I will complain, if not I will just sleep.... or stone... wahaha... 2nd day, the dinner with the 10 other people was the most fun, during the meal, it was sooooo nice, we had hot plate, fish, sambal kangkong and pandang chicken. Best of all, each pay $8 only, and the restaurant like only us there, we laugh so loud like nobody business... espacially when Simon told us what Lai Yoong said, so damn funny... Celine and Shahirah were beside me and I enjoyed myself thoroughly... Yvonne was super suay, got some unidentified object which she claims have "eyes" on it. She looked super tramatised when the thing was in her rice, but the stupid manager say it's a husk. We thought can get free stuff or something, but dun have leh, stingy sia... After eating, we talked and talked.... talked so much.. and oh yar, the way Simon say "Yong Jun" is really funny... so wah, we were laughing like hell... but Shaz and Char never go eat with us... haiz....Char never go, as usual.... but still fun, although dun have Shaz and Char a bit incomplete... so that's my LTC pals, haha, my gossiping kakis and my gang of friends, Shaz, Char, Shahirah, Yvonne, Brenda and Yuelin( who both had fun with the Challenge Pole, haha.... special treatment!!!), JieYing, my sister, Xanthia, everything she says is funny... Celine- fluffy!!! Sarah, Mateen, Simon ( dunno wad to say about him, damn funny ), Lai Yoong, Celestine, Amanda, Rose, Zuri... they made it so fun.. and of course, not forgetting YOngJun! OR Yong Joon, as Simon pronounced.. haha... Yeap, without a black figure, my mind's clearer and I can see that the camp is actually fun! :D....


Hey, Pauline mei... your PSLE score is better than mine, so Jia You, dun sad... it's a good score!

peeping through the window what will people see? If you wanna jia kim jio (eat banana) do the proper way
- LTC's banana song

Here I am, back in the comfort of my home, here to share my experiences of the CCA leaders camp. I was part of LTC, so WeiShan replaced me as a representitive of basketball, of course Yenling also went. Now, what can I say?

The camp was "Suay".
Very.

Overall, it was okay because there was people I could talk to. I guess most of the time the LTC people were gossiping about the same topic. And I was out there in the sun, putting people's lives into my hands as I belayed them. It was tiring staring at the sky the whole day, espacially when your friggin' partner is somewhere chatting with some other people( presumingly males) or trying to be the boss. One word- Yuck.

And throughout the camp, I realised I stoned a lot. Stoning is good, it saves conversation time when 1. No one is listening to what I'm trying to friggin' say or
2. I don't know what is going on.
Just open your mouth and let it go.

No one hears me anyway, with the exception of Shaz. (yeap, :D my shazzy wazzy fuzzy buzzy and I could go on forever) . With each time I say something and people ignore, I feel stupid. As stupid as an idiot, well maybe that's what I really am, huh?

So I'd rather me just stone and shut up while the bosses run the camp. After all, I'm as good as invisible.

Hmmm, guess this whole chuck of text is either a insecurity problem or PMS.

today, i learnt that sylvester is a distant relative of mine.

He is my grandmother's adopted daughter's brother's son.

Go figure. And that's after I sat in the sun from 12pm to catch him and Taufik at J8.

But it's worth it. Taufik. Wow. My idol. Sly is the magic man. :D...

Gotta sleep, camp tomorrow and now's 12 midnite.

Sylvester Sim  

sly talking..i know so many of u out there loves him... yeah, he IS cute in real life 

my sis.. while we were waiting to see the 2 idols 

Sly.... 

taufik without jacket.. it's literally hot 

Taufik Batisah... my Singapore Idol  

anger is not forever but it sure feels this way

if you treat me as one of you
1s20
you wouldn't have done what you did
1s20
I feel outcasted, like an outsider.
Betcha don't know that feeling, right? 1s20?
yes, I admit, I've been running during the first few times. I went to seek refuge in 1s21
but i came home, didn't i. I went back to 1s20.
But what's the point. And I thought we were a class.
Naive? Am I?
Fuck. yes, that's what you thought me, this word.
and now, 1s20. Fuck.
how do you define a class. You include me in stuffs, but exclude me at the same time.
fuCk. Such a simple word. Look at the power of it's 4letters.
Is it your fault, 1s20, or is it some people inside.
Is it some People iNSiDe ?

We could be so happy together...
- The Carlsberg ad song

As a person, I am very strange. Whenever I see a friend whom I would like to see, I would be very happy and my mouth would turn up. There! A smile would be formed right there on my face. However, my head would be thinking, waitaminute, it's weird rite? It would be quite weird to plant a huge smile when approaching people, and you would seem like a pervert( with my double chin and mole, it's not hard to be one) or the smile would seem fake. I don't know about you but I do not have to confindence to smile wide (unless in a photo booth, which is a whole new different matter altogether).

But now, thinking back, i wonder. Don't you?

Yesterday, Shi Qi accompanied me for dinner. After i got off the bus, I was excited to meet her. After all, we haven't seen each other for months. I was so happy i had with me a smile so wide I think people could see my whole set of teeth. When i approached her, i tried not to smile, but can't. So she ask, " Why you smile until like that?" I wanted to say,"Cos you are here wad".

Everytime i see my friends, espacially when i see that half indian chinese friend of mine, I would be happy and smile. But then, human nature would come in. I would be thinking, what if i smile too much and put her off, or makes her think she's so good that she can take me for granted. i'm really scared, so when I approach her, i won't smile too much even though I'm happy meeting her. It's like i'm seeing her every single day, if i am happy to see her everyday, it's kind of weird right?

But now, I think I've been enlightened. A smile, no matter how small, how big is an indication of happiness. So, the next time I see anyone of you guys and I smile wide, you should know that...

I'M VERY HAPPY TO SEE YOU!!!

(now I'm at Andrea's house, and I am very happy to be here with her, SQ and gek eng. my heart is smiling... :D ) ( and heard that XueYi went China, hope she takes care!)

Speechless.

Emotions.

Happy
We have an aim
I live in this moment, basking in its glory

Outraged
Scolded screamed shouted at
And it's not my fault

Sad
Discrepancies of positions, reshuffling of spaces
and... the big 'R' word that affects us all in grace

Shy
Someone's looking this way

Emotions. My week's summary.

When you laugh
And it reminds you of his laughter
When you keep quiet
because you think of him again
When you look up into the clouds
and see his name there
no matter which shape they're in

you know

you've fallen too deep.

You gotta be bad, you gotta be bold, you gotta be wiser..
- The song Daphne Khoo sang

(Friday's entry)
Picture this. Three years ago, at "C" Division, Presbyterian High School played Assumption English in the 2nd round of Basketball Nationals. For the first half, PHS was losing, losing by more than 20 points. This girl, Deanna, she was at the bench (as usual), hoping that the coach would pick her to play. During the third quarter, PHS chased, and were inches (well, to be more exact, a 8-odd points) behind. There was a vibe in the whole team, we believed we could win. Deanna got to play during the third quarter, but she didn't do too well. When the forth quarter began, PHS was chasing, chasing chasing. In the last five minutes, Deanna was on the court. Her teammates and her were fighting, fighting to win. The opponents sunk an own goal, much to PHS' delight, and in the dying moments, Shi Jing gave a shot that made the score 44-45 in PHS' favour (i forgot the score, somewhere there lah).

The opponents now have the ball. The one holding the ball dribbles it rightward-fast. Everyone is running towards the basket. The crowd is just screaming, as Deanna crouched down, and she tried to swoop in on the ball. But, in that moment when the opponent holds up the ball, Deanna touched her hand. The whistle blew immediately. And since, the flag (hong qi) was already raised, the referee gave 2 foul shots to Assumption English. The teacher-in-charge shook Deanna greatly and said, "2 seconds! We only had 2seconds left. And you had to touch her?!"
The person took the 2 shots. The first one came out. The second one, however circled the rim. AND BOUNCED OUT! PHS won. I won, we won.

Fast forward to today. I had a course today, a basketball course and met this PJcian. She asked me which secondary school I'm from and I said PHS. I asked her, she said Assumption English. And we both gasp. I told her about that incident. GUESS WAD!!!!! She was the one I fouled in the dying seconds. Oh, it's a small world after all!

Speaking of freaky coincidences, I boarded the bus after the course, and who should i see but Shahirah, Char and Simon. Freaky Friday!

Riddle: What do you call a person who eats Thai Express and Pizza Hut in one day?

A really lucky person by the name of Deanna Tan.

You wanna know more, more, more about me... gotta use reverse psychology
- Sky Sweetum's Get Tangled up in Me

The story of a true fake.
No, it's not "catch me if you can", but rather it's "Be there for me if you can, but sorry, I can't be there for you". The title could be longer. Just imagine, it could ne "Be there for me........ for you, because ultimately, I'm your friend because I want to know more about ______, and that's all to it". Could anyone be like that? I mean, could anyone be like that?

Unfortunately, someone is JUST LIKE THAT.

And I bet, he doesn't even know I'm pissed.

Did I grow up according to plan?
-Simple Plan's Perfect

The rock star, comedian, drama-ist, talk show host in me took over today. First, I was jamming to songs, lip-syncing into this microphone made of bamboo. Then, before I knew it, I was fighting Shaz in slow motion with a weapon made (yeah, you guessed it) of bamboo. Total fun I tell ya, we should do this more often.

So I say a little prayer and hope my dreams will take me there, where the skies are blue to see you once again....
- Westlife's My Love

So here's my holidays, served to me on a platter. A silver one, I might add, with little shiny carved out patterns at the corners and two little handles at the sides. So here's the agenda for today, training at 3pm. Well, I got ready and everything was fine. Not even the rain could do anything to dampen my mood. So, there I was, in my shirt, my shorts and a hairband. Woah, this is my third time wearing such a contraption on my head, and I wasn't very confident with a skinny plastic band up on my hair. But I soon forgot about it, and the bus arrived.

Woah, don't get me started on the bus.

The bus moved so sloooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooowly. One might wonder what is on the FRICKIN' mind of the driver to have moved so slowly.
5 scenorios he might have been in
1. His mother-in-law, the same one who has been turning up her nose on his crummy job, who couldn't buy that prada handbag because it's price is equivalent to a tire of that bus he was driving is at his house right now and he can definately wait to go home.

2. He likes to look at the rain, oh how beautiful. When it cascades down the bus, it's like a mini water fall. If he drives too fast it might ruin the view due to, you know, physics of the bus and the rain.

3. He has a crush on one of the passengers in the bus, and hopes that she stays in the bus for as long as possible. But he's kinda old, so whaddaya think?

4. He has this psycological disease that makes him feel that he's moving too fast. Woah, yup, Mr Bus Driver, you really need to slow down there.

5. He's just plain evil and wants me to be late.

3 days of fun in one picture