Urban Legends

It has been said, for generations that a woman's delicates are objects of suay-ness. Legend has it that it can bring about bouts of bad luck to any person who puts his or her clothes together with a woman's undies.

Well, that's what my mum always says.

Recently, the Tan Clan laundry washer has been complaining that someone has been crossed-eyed enough to dump articles of clothes into the pail which only contains the Tan family's women's delicates-for-the-lower-body. And since the 4 out of the 6 people in the family are female, that's a lotta lingerie and bad luck!

That someone was me.

I vaguely remember that I have had the sense to put the correct category of clothes into the correct pail. Whites, here. Undies, there. Tees over there. It's so easy it's like a kid's game.

So when the laundry washer pointed the finger at me, I suspected foul play. "Clearly, someone has been sabotaging me!" I said.

"Don't bo liao la. It's you la. You are that blur la." Retorted the laundry washer.

Stupid laundry washer. Who did she think she is to dismiss my accusations with a wag of finger?

I shall try darnest to clear my name in this mysterious incident, by any means. Meanwhile, if I'm having a bad day, it ain't my fault, it's my underwear's fault.

Sherman's Lagoon.

I had a lot to do this entire week. I thought I had a chance to rot at home, be my very own Singapore Idle this week, but noooooooo, I was wrong.

Officiating took up 4 days of the week, but it was a good experience because I got to officiate in the semi-finals and 3rd 4th match for C division girls. And I also got to officiate a match between Americans in PSA which I thought was uber-cool. The players were blacks, and each had this amazing jumping ability; personalities sold seperately.

When officiating ends, the work begins.

I am currently editing footages of a church retreat to make it into a coherant and complete video, just to hone my editing skills and to practise. It will be distributed to some people, and that fact motivates me to strive to do this project well. I don't care how many people see it, as long as the message of the video gets across, so I know I have achieved the aim of the project. It's only 1/4 done, because I faced one major problem at first. Thankfully, the problems that came up were solvable, if not I will be in deep shite. But still, a good experience for me.

On thursday night, I had an impromptu shopping trip with Lagoon, Char, HT and Pam at IKEA. Char and HT had to buy some stuff for their hostel room in NTU so me and Pam tagged along. I do admit, I am envious of the two of them. They are living my fantasy. But then, instead of feeling sour, I should be contented that at the very least, I am in the faculty I want to be instead of some shitehole. We had a good time talking about our classroom days. It seems that talking about the past brings peace. Now that our future is unfolding, it looks to be yet another cycle. But still, like what Forrest Gump says, "life is like a box of chocolates, you'll never know what you're gonna get."

But I'm lucky, my box of chocolates contains you.

(as always, "you" referes to a general selection of close friends whom you should know who you are. The ones who always don't get me and always demand $2, the ones who always says bitches are better than sluts, the ones who calls me moley, and the ones who make my life worthwhile)

On Friday, I went to sentosa with Wong Pei Shan Leanne whose name I should mention in full because she saved me from being burnt to a crisp.

My body has the tan lines of a sports bra and shorts. I think I should wear a bikini next time because the tan lines of a sports bra isn't very nice.

It was a fun day, because we saw a "hot" lifeguard (or so she claims), a handwriting analyzer and a guy in a bikini holding a sign "Honk if you think I am sexy" at the side of the road.

What's not to like when there's the sun, sea and occasional cloudy moments when I start to hum a few bars?

And the company was great, even though she made me believe I can control the weather.

And today, I went for Steamboat at Marina South.

Guess I'm not cut out to be Singapore Idle then.

NEW AGE KNEE PADS. $12.

My Mole is a Bigger Celebrity Than Me!




This is GekEng.
She asked me whether I will be free.
I told her no, I'll be busy.

So I suggested to her, in order not to miss me, I shall send her my picture.



And this was the picture I intended to send.
Such a lovely suggestion. But she said "No, I won't miss you..."

"I will only miss your mole."

ARGH!!! Lucky here's a Coke bottle from China to keep me occupied, if not I would hammer her already.




On a totally different note (yar, Gekeng, nothing about you now, you don't have to read already. Haha) ...

here is one pictures from the ALUMNI, courtesy of Zi Xiang.


Here's me, concentrating hard. If you ZOOM in, actually you can see GAO FEI sitting unglamly, GWEN, JOCELYN and the rest of the SENIORS playing at another court.

One thing I don't like about the picture is... the BLACK SHOES!

I really think that black sports shoes are ugly. Sadly it was my only pair of basketball shoes that won't give my tender feet blisters.

So yah, I won't use this picture if I want to make a fashion statement- ever.

Next post- Pictures from the Orient. Stay tuned. Hehehe.

My team-mates. See! There's only 7 of us because Wendy didn't show, Yee Har had work, Chae Yun had church and Jue Bing MIA.

So there's (From Left) Weishan, the girl who can run and cut and shake her head.
There's Adeline who get the ball and fake until she don't know where she's faking to.
There's Angel, who prefers to keep the pace of the game slow and our preferred 3-pointer shooter.
There's Carmen who always complain she cannot run, but still does when we need her to.
There's me, smiling widely.
There's Yenling. Ahh, Yenling.
There's Eileen! Who is currently improving!

And those are the girls who trained with me and stuck by me.

For all who remembers, winning isn't everything, but the effort to win is.
Believe, going into any competition, always believe that you can go all the way.




Reunion with Ena.

(Joan commented that some parts of her has grown, and we all AGREE.)

New York Minute

Somehow, over the course of this last week, I found myself stranded in the crowd of City Hall every night.

Has City Hall became the new Orchard Road?

I think so.

I saw Jolin Tsai today.

It was at Marina Square, and there was a HUGE crowd. Poor Hwee Teng, Charlene and Pamela couldn't see her because they were too short and the crowd blocked their view.

Some boyfriend lifted the girlfriend up cos she was super short and couldn't see anything. I wonder who was the one who was more poor thing. The boyfriend cos he had to lift up the girl, or the girl cos she was super short.

Anyway, Jolin Tsai is sooo skinny. But her singing wasn't bad so we enjoyed our neck-craning session.

Hey, Mr Jerkface
When I hear your calls I shudder with fear
And everylasting regret when
I say the wrong stuff
Cos I'm bearing the brunt
Of the consequences
That you, Mr Jerkface
Brings.

The annual Alumni Basketball event in SRJC was held over the last sunday. From my batch, only 7 came down. But we still kicked some ass! We won 3 out of the 5 matches played.

And I shouted and shouted and shouted. I don't know why, but with my batch, I'm always shouting, but somehow when we shout at each other, we will get the ball. So, that's our style. And all of them, even though they haven't ran in about a million years, they still could last the whole day. As the captain of the 05 girls' batch, I'm proud of 'em.

So anyway, almost everyone who's anyone in SRJC basketball should be peeling by now. The hot sun has made everyone red.

There's one game where the 05 batch played with the 04 batch. My batch against Gwen's batch.
They sent Renee to guard me and it was super funny. Renee kept holding my hand, and running after me, laughing at the same time. And and and, when it was time for them to attack, she's till guarding me!

Fun day, and a fun night that night too. Girl TALK!

My Escapades To The Orient

After a whirlwind five day trip to various parts of China, my plane finally landed in Singapore. I'm safely home.

However, during my trip into the massive country, I discovered another place I could call home.

Anyway, here’s some sights and sounds and afterthoughts for this trip.

1."Road Trips" will never be the same again.

I went to different cities and towns during the 5 days I was there, and was living in different environments every night. For two separate nights, I stayed in different hotels. The other 2 nights were spent sleeping in relatives' quarters. So it meant that I had road trips everyday, except the first day. Since China is very big, any journey to a new place takes at least 2 hours. But one took the cake. I endured a butt numbing, mind boggling 8 hours coach trip on the 11th. For hours, I was in my seat, staring out at the mountains and greenery along the expressway before I finally doze off. I took the coach at 9.30am, and only managed to reach my destination at 4pm.

(Normally it takes 4 hours to reach. But the driver picked up passengers along the way, detoured into other cities to drop them, and it hindered our time, and my butt.)

2. Family- A Whole New Meaning.

In Singapore, I have a reasonable extended family. I have my grandma, the matriarch, my uncles, aunties and cousins. That’s the only family I knew I had. (plus my mumss side one lah)

En route to China, I discovered a huge array of cousins and more uncles and aunties. And of course, we call them different names like "Ah Cek, ah Pei, Ah Sim" and so on. They really showed us a good time, and extended their hospitality so much. We got to stay in their homes. On the 10th, I stayed at this village-esque place, where paths are either soil or concrete, and ponds surround the houses. The houses are pasted very near to each other, and doors are open wide. One poor cousin of mine had to sleep in the living room because my "entourage"- all 6 of us, slept in his room and his sister’s room.

They showed us around, even came to pick us up at another relatives' house early in the morning into their homes. The journey from the relatives' house to their house took 2 hours. So you can imagine how early they woke up that day.

It was really nice to see and interact with my family in Teochew, China. All while speaking (What else) Teochew.

And if you allow me to have my moment, my distant relatives are literally distant relatives.

3.Misconceptions- I brought my Umbrella for nothing

Before I went to China, someone warned me to bring an umbrella, not for fear of rain, but for fear that the toilets in China have no doors at all.

Acting upon that fear, I brought along my foldable umbrella everywhere I went.

However, everywhere I went, even when I went over to stay at my relative's place at some village place, they had a toilet bowl on the second floor. Their homes were just like ours, modernized and wired. We watched TV on the air-conditioned second floor.

The only time when I encountered a toilet that has faults was during my 8 hour cross country road trip. It was at a rest stop, and most cubicles had no locks. Hence I had to use my hands to hold the door, all while squatting down to pee.

And, the toilets were CLEAN.

I think that, after my Leadership Training Camp 2 years back in Malaysia, where the toilets were filthy and filled with insects of every kind (One girl came out of the cubicle while bathing halfway because she spotted a toad), China’s toilets are luxury compared to that one.

So thank goodness for the rapid development of China.

4.The Skill of Bargaining.

I had this cousin, who showed us how to shop in China.

We went to Tai Ping Square in Dong Guan, and were in a bag shop when a nice bag caught her eye.

Cousin: How much for this bag?
Sales Assistant: 44 RMB.
Cousin: No la, this kind of bag and material only 20 RMB
Sales Assistant: No, no. Cannot. 44 RMB
Cousin: Huh. Ok, nevermind. Let's go!

Then we all went out the shop. My cousin especially, sashayed out the shop.

Barely had we walked one metre out the shop when the sales assistant pulled her back, and AGREED to accept the 20 RMB.

Less than half price, mind you.

Sights and Sounds

This is where all the picture should be. But my dad has not given them to me yet.

Hits And Misses

Somehow, over the course of 5 days over in China, with very long traveling time in between, I kind of wish one (or all, but hey, I can’t be greedy) friend was there to talk and joke around during the bus rides.

Because during the 5 day trip, I didn't say a single stupid joke, and I could have sworn I became a different, more intelligent person then. Everything that came out my mouth were logical, witty and coherent.

But sadly, it was driving me nuts.

(Yes, I'd rather drive others nuts, than the other way round)

And so, when I finally touched down into Singapore, I was immediately shooting my mouth off to my sister, who seemed to pay little attention to me anyway.

And so, I was me again.

My feet are going to be in China in 24hours time.

I can't sleep though, but I'm not that excited.

Well, could you miss me all through till Wednesday?

Andrea's Birthday.

Birthdays are occasions of happiness and joy, and cos there are pictures of my face in this birthday "bash", I shall talk about this birthday.

First, a little spotlight on the birthday girl. Andrea Zhang, aka Xao Ba Tou to QunBao circa 1999. Also known as Ant, even though doesn't really look like one. Likes to say Hi to me in MSN but we could never talk about anything unless we see each other face to face. And when we do see each other face to face, along with the rest of the gang, we can talk about Everything.

And now the cake.



Yes, at a ripe old age of 19, we are celebrating her birthday with a Disney's CARS cake.

But, as the old saying goes, "MAI HIAM". And besides, it's a Swensons ice-cream cake.

BRANDED ok.




Taa daa, this is the birthday girl, with some other guy who is her JC classmate and is celebrating his birthday in a few days time. So to save money, her JC classmates and us celebrated their birthday together with the branded Swenson's cake.

And the rest of the pictures featured will be me stealing her thunder.

Teehee.



Here's one of me smiling without my teeth showing, and Stephy of her teeth showing. Above us are not party hats, but merely the legs of old Ronald Mcdonald on a wall.



And another one of us, but with only half of Birthday girl's face. But not on purpose lah.



This last one is on purpose though. Cannot even see poor Andrea's face.

Happy Birthday Andrea!

Oy Americana!

These few days, I have the luck to be around some Caucasians. First, my cousin, born and bred in America came to town, where me and my sister brought her around. Then today and yesterday, Australians came down to play basketball with the Singapore team. My job was scorekeeping, and I interacted briefly with the Australian referees.

With these (as we "affectionately" call 'em) Ang Mos, I have a tendency to vomit out words in a sing-song manner, which we call "slang".

But I don't think I'm the worst at faking slangs. (Insert winking emoticon here.)

My sisters told me that I had some faux American accent thing going on while on the trip showing my cousin around, and their hair stood on ends when the slang became too fake.

I would be lying if I said I didn't know how that felt.

Their ears must be bleeding from the unnatural, "only heard on TV" pronunciation that pierced through the thick Singlish air.

Because mine almost did when I hear some Singaporean, born and bred in our native soil try a high pitched "melodious" accent.

It was faker than Pamela's Anderson’s boobs.

I guess the reason why we want to emulate foreigners' accents is because we want them to feel at home. Either that, or we've been watching too much Ang Mo television, so much so that their culture has rooted in our hearts.

That's why there are the Ang Mo- pai and the Cheena- pai people, people who are from opposing camps.

To describe the Ang Mo-pai stereotypes, they only listen to Ang Mo songs, watch Ang Mo shows like The Sopranos, Gilmore Girls and F.R.I.E.N.D.S.

However, the Cheena-pai people would only watch Taiwan variety shows and idol dramas, listen to the latest S.H.E songs and talk about their day in impeccable Chinese.

But, as I say, I'm stereotyping.

Most of Singaporeans aren’t like that, they are a cross-breed of Ang Mo and Cheena people.

They can speak simple Chinese, standard English, watches Jacky Wu and American Idol, and their iPod contain both Jay Chou and Avril Lavigne.

Like me.

In case you are wondering, I am engaging you in an intelligent discussion about the influence of foreign culture in Singapore.

But if you want to call my bluff, then yes, I am just showing off that I can pull off a Faux Accent better than some people.

So Yea, people, c'mon and we'll part-ay the night away, BAAAAEEEE-BAAAAH!

TINY VIBRATIONS

The most anticipated item arrived at my home today.

It was not an itsy bitsy tiny weeny yellow pokka dot bikini, but an electronic massage chair that my mum bought for my dad for father's day.

Ahh... Shiok-o-matic.

The massage chair squeezes and nudges, pushes and pull its motors against my aching tired body, rejuvenating my muscles. But it also manages to make a noise that goes like this...

"Puuuut"

... which of course sounds like I'm farting smelly farts of joy while in the chair.

If I were entreprenuership-minded, I should slit a coin slot in the leather seat, so that everytime someone sit on it, they must pay 50 cents.

"50 cent is A lot of money. You go to this shop, you save 50 cent, you go to another shop you save another 50 cent, you get 1 Dollar. Then you go to the dollar shop and you buy something."

But I'm not, so if you get a chance to come to my house, I'll say "Have a SEAT" and you know where to go.

Speaking of money, my friend told me a theory to why Brazil lost.
(and to protect her interest, I shan't say who)

She said that someone said that Brazil lost on purpose to earn the betting money. Because everyone would bet on Brazil to win.

I said it was ridiculous.

Brazil lost because France was better. The oldies beat the samba boys because of experience. Like a recurring nightmare, the 98' Final replay was won once again by Zidenine Zidene. Ah Pui, Bah Geh, Ka-ka, Shortie and gang couldn't find a way to penetrate the French defense. The field was like my house's toilet.

My house's toilet, is filled with pails of all shapes and sizes that I often find it hard to reach the toilet bowl when the urge to do businesses big and small arises. It's like some obstacle course that my sister (She's the laundry washer, by the way. I'm the sweeper/mopper of the house) deliberately set for fun.

So similarly, the French defense was like my house's toilet. And Thiery Henry's goal was a classic, as much as I love my Ah Pui Ronaldo.

I'll be watching the FINALS in China.

Ch-Ch-Ch-China....

(Leanne, Grace, Gwennie... don't roll your eyes. Hehehe)