nobody gets it.

I should go on to the next stage in life where I abandon my nonsensical sense of humour, and instead, opt for dry wit ala the British.

Because nobody gets it anymore.

I have the feeling that my mouth has the power to turn words into twisted daggers, but with no harm intended- but I'm quick to point out, so does everybody else.

I'm no different then.

In this quest to be a better person, at 19 years of age, it becomes tiring when what you say is comes out wrong, unintended, uncalled for. So many moments where you wish you could just adjust the clock, or rub a lamp and wish for time to go back, or just wish Ronaldo weren't so fat now.

So many moments where the word "regret" realises its meaning.

It's one thing to be sick and tired of the life around you, but it's another to be sick and tired of your own words.

Because nobody gets it anymore.

Once, a novelty.
Twice, an endearing characteristic.
Thrice, a tingling sensation.

And the forth time stands for four-get it.

So yes, my new brand of humour, ladies and gentlemen, one where everyone will get it.

(How it's gonna work I don't know yet. I don't get me either)

I saw him that day, along with 2 other friends.

He laid there, breathing heavily, but sleeping like a child. I thought I could see his tiny eyes looking at us while we stood there just staring.

Yesterday, the angels came and took him to heaven.

And in me, in us, we will keep you in our hearts forever.

Everyone Has Secrets

I have been seeing water rings in my home.

Kinda like Dark Water, kinda like The Ring. Hmm, a Japanese Horror movie Renesiance right in my house? What would be next, dolls that move?

But then, I suspect the water rings was made from my pail of water when I was mopping the floor. So all the nonsense for nothing.

Anyway, I watched THE PRINCE WHO BECAME A FROG last night on VCD. It is a typical fairytale romance taiwan series.

Ah fairytales.

Till I see a fairy, I shall wait somemore till my fairytale to start.

Addicted.

I went to Chomp Chomp for the first time in my life last night- even though I pass by it a gazillion times while taking 136 with Ms Sivalingam when I was in SRJC.

So yes, you can point at the screen and scream out "SUA KU" now.

In the meantime, I shall take out my shell ala Over the Hedge's Verne the tortise. But of course I won't show my butt like he did. Cos I'm pretty sure it will scare all the girls in the neighbourhood, like he did.

Why take out my shell? You ask.

So I won't be mountain tortise la, dumb dumb.

But one thing really made me open my mouth in awe. Leanne went to order Sugar Cane juice for all of us. And when it came, the Auntie plonked the 4 mugs in front of me with a loud "PLONK".

I stared at the mugs for a moment.

I was sure it was XXXXXXXXXXXL size. For the mug is sodamnfrickingbig that it took my breath away. It's not everyday that a Sugar Cane Juice has the ability to take someone's breath away, much less the minty fresh breath of someone who floss, brush and use listerine mind you.

I should just wear back the tortise shell right?

But the ONE who truly should wear my tortise shell is Peter Crouch, the tall England "Mr Roboto" striker.

He is aptly named, you see because he is so tall he has to crouch down sometimes. So in matches, he looks like he is wearing an invisible tortise shell.

And I'm not saying that it is a bad thing that he has to hunch a little. Why, he is so tall that if he tries to head in the ball without hunching, the ball will fly above the bar!

It has been proven. In the England Vs Trinidad & To... match, his headers zoomed past the woodwork, right until the last few minutes of the game where he stooped a little and headed in the perfect cross from David Beckham's foot.

So a tortise shell isn't all bad.

Unless of course, if you have never been to Chomp Chomp before.

To be blind would be unkind

To make myself less passe, I decided to go check out what are the hottest things in today's world. And here is what I found.

An old bus uncle, and a guy who won't stop shaking his hips, or the area below his hips for that matter.

The common thing both guys, other than the staring-in-your-face obvious fact that they are guys is that both have been featured in YouTube.

The Bus Uncle, as the name suggests, is a bus driver in HongKong. He got his 15 minutes of fame when someone shot a video of him shouting at a passenger to get off the bus he was driving and put it up on YouTube. After the video was uploaded, he subsequently was fired by the bus company. He made the news by going to the affected passenger's house to apologise for his actions, but his apology was rejected (The entire thing was filmed too). Then he found another job as a PR manager of a restaurant, but unfortunately, people have been threatening the Bus Uncle and the restaurant. Hence he was forced to resign.

The other guy is Hard Gay. Hard Gay wears a leather vest and oh-so-short pants. He goes around on missions, and is always seen (and scaring people unintentionally) shaking his crotch. He goes "Wooo!" after statements he make and passer-bys often find themselves in compromising situations near his crotch area.

For Hard Gay, we laugh at the times he shake 'em. Like it tickles us or something. But for the Bus Uncle, he land himself in a predictment where he is hated by the crowd.

Fickle-minded us.

Netizens are roaring with comments and laughter about Hard Gay. This character is weird, open, straightforward, confident and crazy. We like him.

Meanwhile, instead of fame, the video of the Bus Uncle shot him to infamy, where he will only be remembered for the moment he hollered at the passenger. His act of redemption is overlooked, and life won't be easy for him because he can't get a job with everyone's backs turned away. We hate him.

Isn't technology ironic?

Not wonderful, not harmful but ironic.

THIS SHIP HAS SAILED

In an attempt to either bond us or make things worse, my lil' sister tried to join the mattresses of hers, mine and my big sister together.

Which of course resulted in immediate mobilisation of me dropping whatever I was doing to seperate the mattresses. No hers-and-hers mattresses in this room, no way.

But before that, I was at Party World KTV with my basketball seniors.

They were horrible! Always making fun and laughing when I go a tad off-key.

Just kidding!

Sadly, I was kidding about them being horrible and not kidding about me going off key. They were great fun.

And, a glass of water broke while it was my turn to sing. I know what you are thinking now, you evil b**** (it stands for bigot, and seriously, who isn't one nowadays?). It must have been my singing right? It has to be that awful, low, almost monotonous drawl that killed that glass of water, right?

Left.

Or wrong, to be exact. It was caused by Grace, whose bag hit the glass of water on the table while I was singing my song.

So you see, it wasn't entirely my fault, even if it was me who playfully hit Grace so she'd turn around and swung her bag which hit the glass.

Muahahahaha. I have improved.

"FOR REALISATION, see word GAIN."
-From Merriam Webster's Thesaurus.

Lookin' forward to the World Cup. Nothing else.

Some people reason without a reason, some just forget to reason even though they have a valid reason.

Which brings me to today, where someone had the audacity to mock me. Said I was blind, and even showed me a pair of spectacles, for mocking's sake. I ought to throw out all the censored words from Eminem's song, "MOCKINGBIRD".

But I guess all that I can manage to utter is "Bullpucky", which is a very very very tame version of bullshit.

If it's christmas, I would have said "Bah Humbag!" and proceed to throw all the ding dongs and christmas lights at that balding old man. 'Old scrooge' I would have called him. But he won't have fit the nickname, cos he was very generous with his (un)consructive comments. Heaps, loads, tonnes.

And I crushed under those words.

However, I am very proud of the fact that I manage to squeeze the first tear that was about to come out of my eye back into its tear duct. I held it back, because I won't be put down like that.

Nngh. (That's the sound I make when my tongue is sticking out my mouth)

I would have done "Na Na Ne Bu Bu" but since I didn't cry, I think I should still maintain a little bit of maturity. So I'm going with "Nngh"

"Nngh"

On a totally different note, tune, event and day, I had this basketball gathering with my seniors at Siam Kitchen the day before. Photos can be seen at their blogs. I wont post them here because one in particular is very unflattering/violating.

So if you are a kapo person and want to see my very nice face, please go to Gwen's blog (cos she's the only senior that I linked) and go to Grace or Renee's blog from there. Gwen herself posted some pictures too.

I didn't get to give my first TFtoday. Damn.

Or was it that I don't dare? Hmmm.

Some people reason without a reason, some just forget to reason even though they have a valid reason.

Which brings me to today, where someone had the audacity to mock me. Said I was blind, and even showed me a pair of spectacles, for mocking's sake. I ought to throw out all the censored words from Eminem's song, "MOCKINGBIRD".

But I guess all that I can manage to utter is "Bullpucky", which is a very very very tame version of bullshit.

If it's christmas, I would have said "Bah Humbag!" and proceed to throw all the ding dongs and christmas lights at that balding old man. 'Old scrooge' I would have called him. But he won't have fit the nickname, cos he was very generous with his (un)consructive comments. Heaps, loads, tonnes.

And I crushed under those words.

However, I am very proud of the fact that I manage to squeeze the first tear that was about to come out of my eye back into its tear duct. I held it back, because I won't be put down like that.

Nngh. (That's the sound I make when my tongue is sticking out my mouth)

I would have done "Na Na Ne Bu Bu" but since I didn't cry, I think I should still maintain a little bit of maturity. So I'm going with "Nngh"

"Nngh"

On a totally different note, tune, event and day, I had this basketball gathering with my seniors at Siam Kitchen the day before. Photos can be seen at their blogs. I wont post them here because one in particular is very unflattering/violating.

So if you are a kapo person and want to see my very nice face, please go to Gwen's blog (cos she's the only senior that I linked) and go to Grace or Renee's blog from there. Gwen herself posted some pictures too.

I didn't get to give my first TFtoday. Damn.

Or was it that I don't dare? Hmmm.

A little bit of piss makes the world go round.

I had my first driving lesson yesterday. And yes, those people who wanna sit in my car next time had better buy insurance, judging from the way I drove the car.

My instructor was guiding me all the way, and he was holding onto the steering wheel even when I'm in the driver's seat. Supposedly I've learn how to turn at bends already, but in fact I have absolutely no idea when to turn.

One phrase that he kept saying made me want to scratch my head. "Half cluck techique."

For a moment I thought we were learning the techique of rearing chickens.

My instructor is the typical "lao uncle" type of Singaporean, comes complete with a huge beer belly and the scent of an old man. (I'm nice, I said scent instead of odour) Broken english included. My big sister, who had the (mis)fortune of being taught by him as well, typecast him as a "jolly old man". She told me that she used to brake the car very hard just to see his belly jiggle.

Well, whatever makes her happy.

OUTRAGE!