boom!

Just trying to make an impact.

Hopefully I did.

What can I say, I'm an optimist.

Psst.. I'm using my sister's laptop right now, secretly. It now seem like a perfect moment to play that "Mission Impossible" tune that I'd always wanted to. Da dum da dum da da da da da da da da da dummm....

Sing into my life a tune
Whether good or bad
sing into it love and hope
be it happy or sad

Was rummaging through all the poems I wrote and here's one.. although it does not exactly reflect what I'm feeling now

Losing all control of what's about to happen
the future, so dark so uncertain
glistening in the wind
a tangle of a thread
that's where we stand
a thread that's about to end

Losing it losing it
screaming my heart off
fighting it, punching in
but how do i start, if there is no begining
how to you take it in, if there is no reel

you are so far I am so near
and hidden is the scissors that will cut, fear
the thread's too long now, too much slack
and snip it'll go now broken in ends

I fear...

It's about time that I stick my head out from the dream i've been living in for the past 1year7months and realise that... it's 27(!!!) days to the prelims.

YIKES?

No.... bring it on.

here's something for Shaz- a stanza from the song "RED RIVER VALLEY"

From This Valley they say you are going
We will miss your bright eyes and sweet smile
For they say you are takingthe sunshine
That brightens our pathway awhile

Such a classic.

I'm just a cloud rolling by
And if you're lucky, you'll see my eyes
You'll be guessin' what shape i'm in
and today, just for today
I'm not in the good shape that I forever portray

SOMEBODY FAINTED!

This memory I'm about to share would haunt me forever. Not because it is gruesome, or cruel or disgusting. (It isn't, anyway, if you must know.) It is due to its nature. I shudder to think of it everytime it crosses my mind now. Really shudder.

Imagine a classroom full of students. Imagine you doing a presentation in front of the whole class. Imagine, that as the teacher comments, her voice seem to fade away slowly. That when you look around, all you see are hues that doesn't normally show, and shouldn't be showing through your naked eye.

Imagine you slowly slipping away. From the classroom, into darkness. Into nothingness in a whole of a minute.

I wasn't the one who had to go through this. And if it makes me any luckier, all I experienced was looking into the lifeless eyes of a friend, watching her nearly collapse. I was, in fact, looking through the moments that she would have no recollection of. Because she was unconscious already.


She was standing, placing her palm on the table for support. The bell had just rang, and so the teacher, who incidentally was inches from her, dismissed us. The both of us, Charlene and I had to present an essay outline before the class. She was the one who presented the whole chunk anyway. When the teacher walked away from the OHP, I walked near her, grabbed the transparancy and turned to tell her something. "Today is the fastest econs lesson ever," I said. She didn't respond. Her eyes were staring into me, but nothing was in there. I asked her, "are you alright?" She didn't respond.

Then, all of a sudden, she moved. I wouldn't actually consider it a movement, though. She jerked, not because she was responding, but because her legs were begining to give way.

So I grabbed her hand. And looked at her. Again, I met her eyes. Blank, they still were.

She started to collapse. My hand was still around her arm, so she plummeted down halfway but rose again. The next thing I knew, I was shouting for Ms Koh, who had just walked out the door.( before I said "MS KOH!" two classmates said I shouted AHHH!.

My classmates rushed to her, they held her, so I let go of her. They asked her if she would sit down on a chair. She nodded.

She actually nodded! And so the crisis was over.

After the whole incident was over, I kept thinking about it, espacially the moment where she lost it all and nearly fall over herself. If I hadn't notice, if no one else had noticed, what would happen to her? Will she sleep forever? Will she be unconcious for a while? Or will she hit her head hard?

The reason why I am so hung over this incident is because of its nature. Things could have gone EITHER WAY. So many what ifs. What if I didn't notice? What if I walked back to my seat without saying something? Would she sway in the wind, then fall apart? That, I would never know the answer, and I am glad.

She told me she didn't know I talked to her, or held her. She said she only remembered the part where our classmates rushed to her. She claimed she didn't even see me.I was only inches away!

And that was the most frightening moment ever.

When you become free, you become happier!

Well, Shaz, Aishah,Pam, you'd be proud of me. I'm less obliged, less tied up and more free, more happy now.

Only now, Pam is sick in the hospital... hope she gets well soon!