i like this... drew this well listening to American Idiot 

stressful.. don't know why it appears so dark... 

taa daa... what i do to relieve stress.. just draw and draw 

do not be too eager.

the ball is round.

that's why it's such a beautiful game.

relek

play with your heart.

15 shots.

30shots.

lay up.

you gotta remind me of those. I forget easily. I stress myself too much.

Thank you gwen and yuen, for picking up my call. Even though you had to scrub a pot and talk on the phone at the same time. (I dunno what Yuen was doing... haha...)

Yar... i'll end here today. It's only been 1month, but the stress has been piling... piling piling and piling...

I'll survive right?

Yeah... damn sure i will.

this game it has been on my mind
since the morning, before and after
it was nerve wrecking that night before
i can tell, cos i wanted to win
so badly, my eagerness left me
with an empty heart forgeting my team
and that morning, as i sat in the LT, listening
to the guest the teachers got in
i can't hardly breathe, i'm nervous as it is
my heart keeps on pumping as my lungs keep on breathing
all the good lucks my classmates' passing and the
sensation that it's burning now

and as the game begins i ran and i ran
my teammates i can see the fear
that transends. No wait, not the fear, but
the nervous inside them, tis' their first match
but in there i didn't seem to care
c'mon, we gotta communicate, i thought, but
all that we were, was just a silent fog
with our defence crumbling, as i see us trying
with the oppenents strength rising
and we get beaten to a pulp
it'd mattered then, we're being crushed into crumbs
they keep on shooting, we did that too
they had the shots in, our bounced out confused
and those rubbish balls, we let them come loose
all this mistakes we will rectify
but somehow that instant, we just wished and tried
i know, i can feel it in their vibe

and though we lost, we gained a lot
and it's way better, because we know
our mistakes, and from there we'll do whatever it takes
to go all out for this, cos winning isn't everthing
but the effort to win is

Jac,me, char and jasamine 

Us and the Peer Leaders 

Look! 

the people of the court

bend down, crouch down hands up
what's up
defense we're playing everyone's defending
hear the shouts we're communicating
this is the people of the court
where the ball rules the board
this is, I repeat, the people of the court
where the jumps gets you slaaaam dunks

rebound push it, turn the game all around
exhuasted, sweated, but not going down
we're running towards the goal
dribbling,we're attacking now
defense got a gap
And you see her cutting in, do a lay-up and it hits
upper right corner of board, runs through the rim
This is the people of the court
this is where the ball rules the board

And it ain't over yet, till the fat lady sings
but in this situation, the fat lady is him
the whistle in his hands, running along the sidelines
he, he's the referee
and this is the person of the court
where the whistle rules the board
This is, I repeat, the person of the court
where the offenders in the motion gets caught

These are the people of the court
Where they play the game to perfection
With the strongest determination
And throught that, they create a sensation

The people of the court
Where the ball rules the board.

this road that i've been taking
is just one long winding path
sometimes i see a bend in the distance
but i've never been bold enough
to detour

this road, i'm now trudging
dying pressured by my load
however
i'm inspired by the finishing line
i can never see it but yet
i feel it
in my veins

And since, i chose this road- my road
i shall go on.

living through this minute
feeling like a train has past through
you know like the signs of rushes
your heart beat faster
and you don't know what hit you

There always be that someone who will always have your heart, but you can't see it coming cos you're blinded from the start
- My Boo by Usher and A Keys

Something significant happened today between the 5 of us.

It was like a full cycle, only 1person didn't get hit.

And through it, I realised how much they are similar to me.

And I'm glad now, cos I got a lesson out of it.

Shaz, Aishah, Shahirah-- Sorry for abandoning you at one point or another. Maybe there were other reasons to why you guys were kinda moody in the first place (esp. Aishah) but I guess, if it was you telling me to "go away" when i want to console you, I would feel that way too. But at that time, I was too preoccupied with the current situation, i neglected your concerns sia.

So happy that it's all over. We are a Family again!

Someday it will lead me back to you
- Maroon 5's Sunday Morning

Remember that my 2nd day in the Orientation Camp was a total failure? Well, on the 3rd day, it seemed that it was about to be like my second day, until i finally couldn't take it anymore and i complained. This was what happened.

First, my group "Hydro 8" was seperated from the rest of the family, it's always like that because the hall is too small to accomodate 3 families at once. Hydro 7 and 8 are always seperated from Hydro 1 to 6, even during cheering sessions. That was why I broke down, because I found myself not able to teach the 2groups. And there's only me and Yuelin( hydro 7 ogl) to teach. Luckily there was Andrew, if not, I'll die.

So third day morning, we had mass dance with other groups- full complete groups. Bianca the counsillor kept talking about Mistreal and Inferno( the 2 other groups), so I feel really angry and helpless that Hydro was left out. After the mass dance, when I was with Girish ( family counsillor), I complained all about it to the extend that my voice was trembling, everyone thought I was going to cry there and then. And everyone helped me told Girish about the difficulties me and Yuelin faced. Finally, he agreed to let Hydro 7 and 8 join the other groups the next time they had to seperate.

You should have seen the WIDE SMILE on my face when he said that!

Campfire was horrible. The music was terrible. But then, the OGLs were entertaining ourselves so much that the freshmen all turned and looked at us. Wahaha!!! And when I led cheers, they cheered! So proud of HYDRO, even though we didn't win anything. So proud of Hydro 8.

I learnt so much. Am going to be more confident of myself in future.

Introducing...... My Pi Family Members! 

Me Char And JaC 

Me and Shahirah!! No-Pi rocks.. haha 

Me and Errol - He can be my big brother sia 

Fahmy Chee Min Me and Char HYDROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO 

Notice who's the one who's smile seems to have a problem... haha, Andrew and Me 

My Freshmen chilling by the gallery 

HYDRO 8. My group!!! Come to think of it, Ena, got Vigour 4 pic anot? Haha... Now i know how tough it is being an OGL 

i am super bui song now.

Bui song with myself and the whole wide world.
First, I could not carry myself in front of the 200 J1 people in Hydro.
Cos I'm dumb.

I have problems listening to instructions, or so it seems. Maybe my brain is a sieve.
Cos I'm dumb.

I don't have taste. Dumb Dumb Dumb.

The more you say I'm dumb, I'm dump. Stupid. Moronic.

Like I can help it.

So now, here I am, 50 feet in a pile of shit that seems to grow higher and higher.
Lost my OG's reciepts, got my OG people into the wrong class, allowed someone from another OG to come to mine without even FRIGGIN' noticing!

100feet in a pile of shit.

And worse, the more I wanna stop being dumb, the more I get dumb.
I bet no one notices that I'm trying so hard to listen.
No one.

150feet in a pile of shit.

Well, it's only with the basketball girls that I feel that I'm not stupid for once, even though I do stupid stuff in front of them.

100feet in a pile of shit.

But they graduated.

Back to 150feet in a pile of shit.

But it's alright. It's okay. I learnt my lesson. And I'm trying. Only no one notices, that's all.

AND!!! I have this impluse to give some of my friends some messages for this new year...

1. Gek Eng
How did we get so close? Haha, I still remember in Sec 3, I just thought you were a very quiet and clever girl. But now, you are oso very talkative lor. Haha.... THANK YOU. For last year, for 2003, for the times where we go out and enjoy oursleves just sitting down and talking. And listening to me and my stories, my lame jokes, my everything.... thank you. And don't be too obsessed with Chicky, however cute he might be. :P Go find one good guy.

2. Andrea
I will always remember every time i try to be smart and say something funny, you always will say "not funny lor". And and and, every Seoul Garden sessions.... the chicken that we hid, u me and gekeng. :D Andrea, next year must work hard for ur A's... and and and, we must go out regularly k... cos i look forward to going out with u and GekEng.

3. SQ
Go find ur message somewhere in my previous msg....

4. Gwen
Hey! I will miss the days where i walk past the study area and try to spot whether you are there just to say hi to you. And so much more stuff. Will miss talking to you, sharing secrets with u. You ah, don't eat put too much jam in your bread, later will get toothache. Try other stuff, such as butter.

5.Yuen
Come back soon!! And next time you are free in the morning, come to the canteen at 7.15 so i can come find u... Will miss those days! And next time you go orchard, hope that people get to see what they wanna see!

6. XueYi
Must go out....go out....go out.... next time we jio u out must be free hor!

7. Pi Family
Shaz Shaz Shaz Shaz. Hah! I typed ur name so many times, honoured anot? This yr, we'll have so much fun together! Shahirah, Aishah.... fun fun fun! And Charlene... much more fun! (hopefully a lot less scoldings)

8. Miss Su!!!
Hehe... so fun going out with you, and playing basketball with you. And staring at your name on the big big plaque when assembly is held in the hall. This year, you musn't be more violent hor, we scared. Haha.. Just so glad that I got to know you even though you are not my batch and that you are like, 3 years older yet we can click so well. And your laughter, your infectious laughter... AND who can forget your driving... along Cineleisure. Hahha... I still can remember the first time i met you, it was after the CJ match, and right then, i would never have imagine how good a friend i have gained at that moment. So, THank you for being my friend and let's go out and watch loads of movies in 2005... and study too...:D

Happy New Year!

Yesterday was 2004. That year was (still not used to 2004 gone) the best year of two of my friends' life. But for me, I don't really know. Somehow, I feel that the best year is yet to come. Or maybe, I don't want to reach the "peak" year yet. I'm still young mah.

Yesterday, I moved back to my humble abode. Guess it really isn't very humble anymore now that it has been spruced up with some pleasing interior designs. I was really tired, but then come to think of it, I didn't really do much of the moving.

I went for dinner with Charlene (or Miss Su as WE like to call) and Gwen at Billy Bombers. At first, I wanted to go for steamboat at Marina Bay. I haven't had steamboat for a very long time. Hmmm.....

But Billy Bombers it was. Gwen and I brought Char into a frenzy because she couldn't spot us at the Heeren. On the phone, she was like "Where? I can't see you?" And we were like "We're here!! Raise your hand to let us see you!!"

But she didn't. Wise choice, because Gwen and I were slowly strolling down to where she was. It was easy to spot her actually, because we saw her ran out of the Heeren, head turning all around with a handphone on one ear. While we were strolling along.

That was my last prank of 2004.

Our dinner was very nice. Sumptous, but we were shortchanged. We forgot about the dessert. But for what it's worth, the dinner was a very fun affair. Gwen and I were struggling with pork ribs. Char, however wasn't very hungry so she just ate the chicken and helped us cut the ribs.

Oh, and did I mention I saw a truckload of people I know?

But the only people I remember seeing were ShiQi and Michelle. For OBVIOUS REASONS.
Hey SQ! Really really happy to see you on New Year's Eve. This whole year, I don't know why but I still feel that we are still classmates. You are always around when I need someone, and we still laugh at the same stuff. (Gao LingFeng, Fei Yu Qing, Blangedash ppl, to name a few). I'm really glad that our wavelengths are still the same after 365days at different institutions. You better work hard next year!!! You slack somemore I tell JieLun to come back to me hor.

And Michelle.... Same 'ol Michelle. Still so crappy, funny and BLACK. :P

Anyway, after dinner, WanXin came to find us and we went shopping for presents. We ended up buying a wallet for Grace ( and must thank Jasmine for her valuable advice and the situation she was in while in conversation) while WanXin and Char bought a tube for Shufen (senior's captain). I was their model. Haha...

Then it was off to the Esplanade. Gwen and me went there to find Grace and Jas because Char went home with Wan Xin. We had quite a ride in the bus. The couple in front of us couldn't wait for the new year to start kissing.

Talk about getting a headstart.

I miss Yuen Xin.

That sentance came out of nowhere, but yar....

There was no fireworks that night, but still, there was a crowd. We occupied ourselves looking at an Indian couple. The guy was gross. That's all I will say.

Then, when I looked up into the sky, I saw clouds rolling by. They were those fat, fluffy kind of clouds, and they rolled towards the sea. And there, I proclaimed "Those are the clouds of 2004!!"

When 12midnight came near, I stared at those clouds, and somehow, somewhere, I didn't want them to go. 2004 is slipping past me, and there was this longingness for this year which has brought me so much. Lessons, friends, skills.

2004, I salute you.

And, shit that guy who sprayed me foam. Why never go spray Jasmine? Haha...